Oxymoron Diaries

Oxymoron Diaries
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Teasing with Chapter Titles

Chapter Titles ...

prologue     half dead
chapter one     extinct life
chapter two     random logic
chapter three     distant relatives
chapter four      good news
chapter five     uninvited guests
chapter six     compulsory volunteer
chapter seven     balanced insanity
chapter eight     recent history
chapter nine     big sip
chapter ten     cold as hell
chapter eleven     safe sex
chapter twelve     only choice
chapter thirteen     rolling stop
chapter fourteen     nothing much
chapter fifteen     the living dead
chapter sixteen     hard liquor
chapter seventeen     clean toilet 
chapter eighteen     quiet riot
chapter nineteen     computer jock
chapter twenty     pure filth
chapter twenty one      melted ice
chapter twenty two     plastic glasses
chapter twenty three     intimate murder
chapter twenty four    hard water
chapter twenty five     wedded bliss
chapter twenty six      nice and sleazy
chapter twenty seven      firewater
chapter twenty eight     tough love
chapter twenty nine      limited lifetime guarantee
chapter thirty     water landing
chapter thirty one   terribly pleased
chapter thirty two     secret rumors
chapter thirty three     guaranteed forecast
chapter thirty four     bad health
chapter thirty five     terrific headache
chapter thirty six     demanding patient
epilogue     serious humor


Abigail Nutter has walked a fine line between the apathetic urge to hang out a welcome sign for blood relatives, in-laws, out-laws, kissing cousins and stray animals or digging in with cold emotion and a quarantine sign, boarding up windows and padlocking doors against intrusion. The Oxymoron Diaries' Twelve OuncePoundcake (Life is an Oxymoron), tells the story of Abigail Nutter,a local writer temporarily forced into multi-generation serfdom, disrupting her daily life in sadly amusing, mildly psychotic ways. As evidenced throughout the telling by random sprinklings of oxymora, she routinely takes her inspiration from everyday life, causing her family to frequently prefer she write her column in invisible ink. From 'plastic glasses' to 'nice and sleazy' and 'cold as hell' to 'safe sex', each chapter is subtitled by a relevant oxymoron, subtly teasing readers with the upcoming possibilities.

Abby's mother, Eve, a control freak, and her editor, Kemper, a sixty-something nymphomaniac and plastic surgery junkie, add to the endless instances of oxymoron humor, but no one more so than Belly, her nearly ninety-nine year old grandmother and self-proclaimed living fossil, who has been dropped on her doorstep for the winter.

Abby's husband, Bryan, who she fondly calls Moh, except when he's in trouble and she calls hiim Mohby Dick, is dismayed when two months later Abigail suggests their uninvited guest live with them permanently.

Hence ensues many emotional ups and downs, laughter, tears and heartbreak before the Nutter family realizes that with a touch of humor and a sprinkling of unconditional love, they can turn burdens into welcome loads. What surprises them the most is how Belly does not fit into the burden category as much as they anticipated. Broken marriages, broken families, and broken bonds turn out to weigh so much more than a ninety-nine year old sprite of a woman.

Editorial Reviews
Neil Nofziger

If sarcasm and an acid-tongue top your list of fiction prerequisites, then look no further. What I thought would be solely a work of fiction for the kinder and gentler sex turned into one laugh after another, with more than ample cringes thrown in for good measure for this macho man. Ms. O'Neil's use of oxymora as inspiration is brilliant and highly entertaining. In between the humor is pain and sadness, but never far behind is another humorous jab in the funny bone.

Meet the Author

DidiO'Neil walks a fine line similar to that of her characters, teetering between straight-laced and a straight jacket. She has written fiction for years for personal enjoyment and self-medication and is now delighted to entertain the general public. Nicknamed "The Human Sponge" she has the ability to pull out of a hat random bits of useless information that can be applied to the moment at hand and often, her writing. Her unofficial status as an accomplished wordsmith spurred her to use oxymorons as the theme of her first published series, The Oxymoron Diaries.

Her professional life also includes that of a National Real Estate Coach and Speaker.

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