It's a Happy Day in The Oxymoron Neighborhood

It's a Happy Day in The Oxymoron Neighborhood.

Okay, I am gonna brag just a wee bit ... received my first royalty check last weekend. Feels pretty dang good.



This is me dancing for joy ... or what I would like to look like when I dance for joy.

Oxymoron Diaries | Numb Feeling

Oxymoron Diaries|Numb Feeling. I've had this one in draft mode for awhile now, simply because I was too ticked at myself to write it. Ticked at myself because the oxymoron "numb feeling" I'm talking about is inspired by my own thumb. Yes, my thumb.

Okay, so here's the story ... I was making a vat full of spaghetti sauce about a month ago. When making a VAT of anything, you need BIG cans of ingredients. On this particular day, that would mean a can of tomato puree the size of a footstool. Kinda hard to get one of those suckers open, but I gave it my best shot. Unfortunately, my best shot ended with blood splattering the backsplash of the sink and me screaming obscenities. It also ended with my thumb now having a numb feeling over most of its surface.








I'm thinking if after a month I still can't feel a dang thing when I touch my thumb, that perhaps the can lid that sliced through my thumb must have severed a nerve.

Hence the numb feeling. Hence the numb thumb.

Hence the oxymoron. Hence the blog post.

Oxymoron Diaries | Fragile Strength

Oxymoron Diaries|Fragile Strength. This oxymoron phrase has been rolling around in my skull for a few weeks now, but today seems to be the day that it pops on out and enters the real world. I heard this in a song recently, don't remember which one right now, but it reminded me of something I've had written on a piece of paper laying on my desk for years - "I'm strong on the surface, but not all the way through." Truthfully, I think that phrase came from song lyrics, too.

It may seem impossible to be fragile and strong at the same time, but I think a lot of women face that scenario on a daily basis. I know I do. Some days more than others. Men, too, I'm sure.

Think of it this way ... you KNOW you have to get something accomplished that is very important, but you also have a million other commitments and a million other items that need to be accomplished that are very important. Plus you may be the only person around you who has her act together most of the time, but some days after the important stuff is done, you literally fall to pieces. You were strong enough to accomplish your goal, but the second it was done, YOU were done. PERIOD.

Doesn't happen often, but SOMETIMES you just want to take a sabbattical and be responsible for nothing and no one. Some days you want to let the fragile side take over and have someone help YOU, instead of the other way around. That doesn't mean you aren't strong, it just means you're human.

Everybody needs to take a break and rejuvenate. Make sure you do that.
I know I need to put a little more PINK in my day planner sometimes. (Anything pink in my planner means it's personal time.) When I start feeling fragile, instead of strong, I know I need to take a step back after I've accomplished that pile of important stuff and take a deep breath, be fragile for a moment, and then go out and kick some more butt.

Yeah, kicking butt gets me over that FRAGILE mood in a nano second. Today I am going to murder some weeds in my garden. I'm gonna kick their butts!

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Oxymoron Diaries | Click Start to Shut down

Oxymoron Diaries | Click Start to Shut Down. Yes, I am having computer issues. And yes, if I click start and shut down it usually fixes the problem. A lot of times people forget this quick, easy little fix. In fact, when my sonny-in-law was in Czech doing missionary work after high school, his team had a technology guy. But the rule was "Don't call the Tech Guy unless you have already clicked start to shut down."

The pain about it comes in with the preparation to shut down. You can't just click start and go for it. Well, you can, but you might lose some important stuff. For instance, I needed to click start and shut down last night. But before I could do that I needed to X out of 8 webpages, 4 word documents, 3 excel spreadsheets, and 3 programs.

Hmmm, maybe therein lies the problem ... too much running on my computer.

Excuse me while I click start to shut down ... or not.

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Click here for an excerpt of The Oxymoron Diaries "Twelve Ounce Poundcake".

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About The Oxymoron Diaries ... new Fiction on Amazon

Abigail Nutter has walked a fine line between the apathetic urge to hang out a welcome sign for blood relatives, in-laws, out-laws, kissing cousins and stray animals or digging in with cold emotion and a quarantine sign, boarding up windows and padlocking doors against intrusion.

The Oxymoron Diaries' Twelve Ounce Poundcake, tells the story of Abigail Nutter,a local writer temporarily forced into multi-generation serfdom, disrupting her daily life in sadly amusing, mildly psychotic ways. As evidenced throughout the telling by random sprinklings of oxymora, she routinely takes her inspiration from everyday life, causing her family to frequently prefer she write her column in invisible ink. From 'plastic glasses' to 'nice and sleazy' and 'cold as hell' to 'safe sex', each chapter is subtitled by a relevant oxymoron, subtly teasing readers with the upcoming possibilities.

Abby's mother, Eve, a control freak, and her editor, Kemper, a sixty-something nymphomaniac and plastic surgery junkie, add to the endless instances of oxymoron humor, but no one more so than Belly, her nearly ninety-nine year old grandmother and self-proclaimed living fossil, who has been dropped on her doorstep for the winter.

Abby's husband, Bryan, who she fondly calls Moh, except when he's in trouble and she calls him Mohby Dick, is dismayed when two months later Abigail suggests their uninvited guest live with them permanently.

Hence ensues many emotional ups and downs, laughter, tears and heartbreak before the Nutter family realizes that with a touch of humor and a sprinkling of unconditional love, they can turn burdens into welcome loads. What surprises them the most is how Belly does not fit into the burden category as much as they anticipated. Broken marriages, broken families, and broken bonds turn out to weigh so much more than a ninety-nine year old sprite of a woman.

Clean House is an Oxymoron at My House

I admit it. My house is a mess. In fact, my house is such a mess that the minute you walk in the door, the phrase "Clean House" turns into an oxymoron.



Clean House is an oxymoron at my house right now.



A Domestic Goddess, I am not. Even on a good day my home is not spotless. The only time it really bothers me is when my mother is coming over. But I have a plan for that - I simply tell her the grandkids spent the week with us. Yeah, I blame it on the grandkids.