Oxymoron Diaries | Disposable Plastic.
We recycle. Truly we do. At least we try our best to try our best. Unfortunately, I just walked into our family room and took one look at the two Golden Doodles, Cappy and Izzy, and realized that our efforts at re-cycling may be a bit, shall we say, for naught.
Cappy and Izzy are the true recyclers at our home since there isn't much left to throw away after they've chewed on everything in sight. If you want proof, click here for my blog post titled Things My Dog Ate This Week.
For example, take a peek at this photo of a 2 liter soda bottle. After 3 days of constant
gnawing, it still looks pretty much like a 2 liter soda bottle, just a bit squished.
Keep in mind that somewhere on this bottle it used to read something like "Disposable Plastic" or "Recycle-able" or words to that effect, but if these dogs can't even hurt this hunk of plastic, is anything else gonna turn this into either something re-useable or something that disintegrates in a landfill? I think not.
One more thing ... I don't remember any stamp anywhere on the bottle stating that it was dog-proof either. But it obviously is.
I guess the only solution is to give up soda pop, since everything else I own of any value is somewhere inside one of my dogs.
By the way, getting rid of the doggies is not an option.
Besides, if we take them to the pound they will simply become "recycled" dogs and start this vicious cycle all over again. Or shall we say this vicious REcycle?
Gotta run ... time to check on what's hanging out of the dogs' mouths. Since it's a spring-like day of almost 70 outside in NW Ohio and they're playing outside right now, the likely answer to that question is probably one of my hostas.
About The Oxymoron Diaries ...
Abby's mother, Eve, a control freak, and her editor, Kemper, a sixty-something nymphomaniac and plastic surgery junkie, add to the endless instances of oxymoron humor, but no one more so than Belly, her nearly ninety-nine year old grandmother and self-proclaimed living fossil, who has been dropped on her doorstep for the winter.
Abby's husband, Bryan, who she fondly calls Moh, except when he's in trouble and she calls hiim Mohby Dick, is dismayed when two months later Abigail suggests their uninvited guest live with them permanently.
Hence ensues many emotional ups and downs, laughter, tears and heartbreak before the Nutter family realizes that with a touch of humor and a sprinkling of unconditional love, they can turn burdens into welcome loads. What surprises them the most is how Belly does not fit into the burden category as much as they anticipated. Broken marriages, broken families, and broken bonds turn out to weigh so much more than a ninety-nine year old sprite of a woman.
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If sarcasm and an acid-tongue top your list of fiction prerequisites, then look no further. What I thought would be solely a work of fiction for the kinder and gentler sex turned into one laugh after another, with more than ample cringes thrown in for good measure for this macho man. Ms.O'Neil's use of oxymora as inspiration is brilliant and highly entertaining. In between the humor is pain and sadness, but never far behind is another humorous jab in the funny bone.
The Oxymoron Diaries Vol. 2
A Little Pain Never Hurt Anyone
prologue half dead
She would be mortified.