The Oxymoron Diaries: Clean House is an Oxymoron at My House

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Clean House is an Oxymoron at My House

I admit it. My house is a mess. In fact, my house is such a mess that the minute you walk in the door, the phrase "Clean House" turns into an oxymoron.

Clean House is an oxymoron at my house right now.

A Domestic Goddess, I am not. Even on a good day my home is not spotless. The only time it really bothers me is when my mother is coming over. But I have a plan for that - I simply tell her the grandkids spent the week with us. Yeah, I blame it on the grandkids.

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About The Oxymoron Diaries

Abigail Nutter has walked a fine line between the apathetic urge to hang out a welcome
sign for blood relatives, in-laws, out-laws, kissing cousins and stray animals
or digging in with cold emotion and a quarantine sign, boarding up windows and
padlocking doors against intrusion. The Oxymoron Diaries' Twelve Ounce
Poundcake (Life is an Oxymoron), tells the story of Abigail Nutter, a local
writer temporarily forced into multi-generation serfdom, disrupting her daily
life in sadly amusing, mildly psychotic ways. As evidenced throughout the
telling by random sprinklings of oxymora, she routinely takes her inspiration
from everyday life, causing her family to frequently prefer she write her
column in invisible ink. From 'plastic glasses' to 'nice and sleazy' and 'cold
as hell' to 'safe sex', each chapter is subtitled by a relevant oxymoron,
subtly teasing readers with the upcoming possibilities.

Abby's mother, Eve, a control freak, and her editor, Kemper, a sixty-something
nymphomaniac and plastic surgery junkie, add to the endless instances of
oxymoron humor, but no one more so than Belly, her nearly ninety-nine year old
grandmother and self-proclaimed living fossil, who has been dropped on her
doorstep for the winter.

Abby's husband, Bryan, who she fondly calls Moh, except when he's in trouble
and she calls him Mohby Dick, is dismayed when two months later Abigail
suggests their uninvited guest live with them permanently.

Hence ensues many emotional ups and downs, laughter, tears and heartbreak
before the Nutter family realizes that with a touch of humor and a sprinkling
of unconditional love, they can turn burdens into welcome loads. What surprises
them the most is how Belly does not fit into the burden category as much as
they anticipated. Broken marriages, broken families, and broken bonds turn out
to weigh so much more than a ninety-nine year old sprite of a woman.

Click here to download to your Kindle from Amazon. Only $2.99 through March 2012.

Click here to download to your Nook from Barnes and Noble. Only $2.99 through March 2012.

Reviews:

from N.N.
If sarcasm and an acid-tongue top your list of fiction
prerequisites, then look no further. What I thought would be solely a work of
fiction for the kinder and gentler sex turned into one laugh after another,
with more than ample cringes thrown in for good measure for this macho man. Ms.O'Neil's use of oxymora as inspiration is brilliant and highly entertaining. In
between the humor is pain and sadness, but never far behind is another humorous jab in the funny bone.

from D.G. -
I just finished reading this fabulous book and I can't wait for the next installment! I loved all the characters especially Belly...what a feisty great grandmother! I think we wish we all had one just like her! Not only was this book entertaining, but it really touched on some very sensitive subjects that are difficult to deal with. Quirky parents, disloyal spouses and relatives that are faced with where to live in their old age and addressed them all in a very tender& honest way. Kudos to you DiDi on a job well done!

Coming
Fall of 2012

The Oxymoron Diaries
Vol. 2
A Little Pain Never Hurt Anyone

by Didi O'Neil

The Oxymoron Diaries

Oxymoron Diaries

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Clean House is an Oxymoron at My House

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