prologue half dead
chapter two random logic
chapter three distant relatives
chapter four good news
chapter five uninvited guests
chapter six compulsory volunteer
chapter seven balanced insanity
chapter eight recent history
chapter nine big sip
chapter ten cold as hell
chapter eleven safe sex
chapter twelve only choice
chapter thirteen rolling stop
chapter fourteen nothing much
chapter fifteen the living dead
chapter sixteen hard liquor
chapter eighteen quiet riot
chapter nineteen computer jock
chapter twenty pure filth
chapter twenty one melted ice
chapter twenty two plastic glasses
chapter twenty three intimate murder
chapter twenty four hard water
chapter twenty five wedded bliss
chapter twenty six nice and sleazy
chapter twenty seven firewater
chapter twenty eight tough love
chapter twenty nine limited lifetime guarantee
chapter thirty water landing
chapter thirty one terribly pleased
chapter thirty two secret rumors
chapter thirty three guaranteed forecast
chapter thirty four bad health
chapter thirty five terrific headache
chapter thirty six demanding patient
epilogue serious humor
Overview
Abigail
Nutter has walked a fine line between the apathetic urge to hang out a welcome
sign for blood relatives, in-laws, out-laws, kissing cousins and stray animals
or digging in with cold emotion and a quarantine sign, boarding up windows and
padlocking doors against intrusion. The Oxymoron Diaries' Twelve OuncePoundcake (Life is an Oxymoron), tells the story of Abigail Nutter,a local
writer temporarily forced into multi-generation serfdom, disrupting her daily
life in sadly amusing, mildly psychotic ways. As evidenced throughout the
telling by random sprinklings of oxymora, she routinely takes her inspiration
from everyday life, causing her family to frequently prefer she write her
column in invisible ink. From 'plastic glasses' to 'nice and sleazy' and 'cold
as hell' to 'safe sex', each chapter is subtitled by a relevant oxymoron,
subtly teasing readers with the upcoming possibilities.
Abby's mother, Eve, a control freak, and her editor, Kemper, a sixty-something nymphomaniac and plastic surgery junkie, add to the endless instances of oxymoron humor, but no one more so than Belly, her nearly ninety-nine year old grandmother and self-proclaimed living fossil, who has been dropped on her doorstep for the winter.
Abby's husband, Bryan, who she fondly calls Moh, except when he's in trouble and she calls hiim Mohby Dick, is dismayed when two months later Abigail suggests their uninvited guest live with them permanently.
Hence ensues many emotional ups and downs, laughter, tears and heartbreak before the Nutter family realizes that with a touch of humor and a sprinkling of unconditional love, they can turn burdens into welcome loads. What surprises them the most is how Belly does not fit into the burden category as much as they anticipated. Broken marriages, broken families, and broken bonds turn out to weigh so much more than a ninety-nine year old sprite of a woman.
Abby's mother, Eve, a control freak, and her editor, Kemper, a sixty-something nymphomaniac and plastic surgery junkie, add to the endless instances of oxymoron humor, but no one more so than Belly, her nearly ninety-nine year old grandmother and self-proclaimed living fossil, who has been dropped on her doorstep for the winter.
Abby's husband, Bryan, who she fondly calls Moh, except when he's in trouble and she calls hiim Mohby Dick, is dismayed when two months later Abigail suggests their uninvited guest live with them permanently.
Hence ensues many emotional ups and downs, laughter, tears and heartbreak before the Nutter family realizes that with a touch of humor and a sprinkling of unconditional love, they can turn burdens into welcome loads. What surprises them the most is how Belly does not fit into the burden category as much as they anticipated. Broken marriages, broken families, and broken bonds turn out to weigh so much more than a ninety-nine year old sprite of a woman.
Neil Nofziger
If sarcasm and an acid-tongue top your list of fiction
prerequisites, then look no further. What I thought would be solely a work of
fiction for the kinder and gentler sex turned into one laugh after another,
with more than ample cringes thrown in for good measure for this macho man. Ms.
O'Neil's use of oxymora as inspiration is brilliant and highly entertaining. In
between the humor is pain and sadness, but never far behind is another humorous
jab in the funny bone.
Meet the Author
DidiO'Neil walks a fine line similar to that of her characters, teetering between
straight-laced and a straight jacket. She has written fiction for years for
personal enjoyment and self-medication and is now delighted to entertain the
general public. Nicknamed "The Human Sponge" she has the ability to
pull out of a hat random bits of useless information that can be applied to the
moment at hand and often, her writing. Her unofficial status as an accomplished
wordsmith spurred her to use oxymorons as the theme of her first published
series, The Oxymoron Diaries.
Her
professional life also includes that of a National Real Estate Coach and
Speaker.
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